The Math of Presence

A mentor said something to me recently that stopped me cold.

He did the math in his head — his daughter is almost 11. In a few years, she'll pull away the way kids do. By 18, she's gone into her own life. And when you add up all the accumulated time she'll actually spend under his roof from 18 onwards... it's about five months.

Five months.

So he made a decision. Not to be present more… but to be present intensely when he is there.

He said: don't give the people you love what's left of you after everything else.

That landed differently for me.

Because I have people I love who won't always be here the way they are today. And a business that genuinely fills my heart.

After seven months in transition outside of corporate, work has become the place where I recharge. Because now I get to choose who I work with and decide the work I do. That choice is what makes it fulfilling.

And what I realized is this: presence isn't a quantity. It's a quality of attention.

If you're there, be there.

Not halfway. Not with one eye on your phone. Not mentally solving tomorrow's problem while someone who loves you is right in front of you.

Leaders, we are wired to optimize everything. But the people we love don't need our optimization. They need our eyes. Our stillness. Our full self.

Give them the gift to be fully seen, heard and what they say mattered to you…

That's the only thing any of us truly own: our choices, our emotions, our decisions.

So today I'm asking myself: when I show up, am I actually showing up?

Because one day, we won't get to choose anymore...

Who in your life deserves more of your full presence today?

#presence #intensely #purpose #emotions #choices #decisions #mypurposeconsulting